08.07.2009
The Ram

Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, "Abraham!"
"Here I am," he replied.
Then God said, "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about."

Early the next morning Abraham got up and saddled his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about. On the third day Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance. He said to his servants, "Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you."

Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them went on together, Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, "Father?"
"Yes, my son?" Abraham replied.
"The fire and wood are here," Isaac said, "but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?"

Abraham answered, "God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son." And the two of them went on together.

When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven, "Abraham! Abraham!"
"Here I am," he replied.

"Do not lay a hand on the boy," he said. "Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."

Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a Ram caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, "On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided."

The angel of the LORD called to Abraham from heaven a second time and said, "I swear by myself, declares the LORD, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me."

— Genesis 22:1-18
Christian Bible

Sometimes... what we think our lesson is... is merely a test... a test of our trust in our Higher Self... a test to see if we are listening... and to see if we are willing to do what we are led to do, no matter what it is... no matter what people think...

And then... at the split second we are about to follow... the scene shifts, and the REAL lesson is revealed... and a Blessing of Blessings—
GROWTH— is bestowed upon us...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

04.07.2009
11,322 Days Later [birthday.blog]

So yet another year has passed,
and it's time for my birthday blog again...

I remember trying to imagine being this age when I was 12
and feeling it was a lifetime away.

Now it's here, and I still feel 12!

Does that illustrate how everything is perspective,
and it only matters how you feel,
no matter what the books or doctors or "grown-ups" tell you?

There are many things in my life right now I am not content with,
and many things I am content with.

And both aspects will change.

Change, flexibility and patience have been my major lessons this past year.
I have lost what is dear to my heart, as well as gained other dearnesses.

Am I better for it all?
I have to believe so...

Am I worse for it all?
I have to believe not, and trust the Universe and my Authentic Self...

Yet all in all, there is still the determination in my soul
to reach my goals...
This fire of purpose that has raged within me from the day of my birth
thirty-one years ago
still burns in the night...
I am still Me
no matter what floats lazily by my View on the road...

This year, my first book of poetry will be released,
followed by the first of my children's books.
More art will bleed from my veins
and I will find creative ways to display and share those pieces of me.
And my spiritual giving/receiving will grow
as Resonate evolves into the visions I've seen.

Yes, Life is much like this yo-yo weather Oklahoma loves now.

I am learning to appreciate the Grand Canyons
as well as the Denalis...

—Lloyd Matthew Thompson

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

02.25.2009
Shape Them

The master allows things to happen.
He/She shapes events as they come.
He/She steps out of the way
and lets things speak for themselves.

— Tao Te Ching #45

This past week more than ever I have seen
just HOW MUCH it is our perspective on what happens
in our lives
that determines how they will affect
our lives,
rather than the things themselves
controlling us helplessly...
WE choose our reactions,
and flavor these empty events.
Take up your power!
Isn't it YOUR Life? ;-)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

01.01.2009
Aloha, 2008

What a year!
SO much has happened in just this year alone,
"I don't even know where to begin."

As I stop and turn around, tears immediately well from deep in my belly and moisten my eyes. 2008 has been quite an overwhelmingly emotional one.

From love and friendships to victory and defeat,
losing and finding to decisions and choices,
once again I find the mirror reflecting an identity back to me that I would not have even dreamed this time last year, much less recognized.

Growth seems to have been the theme.
And where there is growth, there has been adversity.

Pain and loss, trials and temptations-- these are what evolve the Soul.

Many long nights have left me wishing for magick potions instead.
Yet even in those rings of fire, from here I clearly see Design.

In each and every heartache,
in the confusion and hard times,
JOY has risen without fail.
My spirit laughs in what has been born from such momentary troubles.

And so I choose to continue.

And in choosing,
I ask for more...

What deeds must be done to further step into my own?
I'll do them.

What limitations must be shattered in order to make use of these wings?
I'll expose them.

What ideas and inspirations must be gestated and brought forth into labor?
I'll dream them.

I must embody my Authentic Self.
I must maintain integrity.
My bones cry out for it.

There is no choice.

And so,
with laughter in my tears,
I will possess this human body one more year.

I will Love.

I will teach.

I will heal.

I may be in this world,
but now more than ever,
I see I am definitely

not OF it.

Lloyd Matthew Thompson
theInvisibleSoul
12.31.2008

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

09.09.2008
Purpose (in all things)

Those closest to me know I am going through some big changes and adjustments in my life right now.
Even when expected, intended, and planned, it still seems to send a small earthquake through your system, and little christmas-light stress bulbs blink in your eyes, especially the more you are aware of how things really are and what you want and are still forced to play this game and conform to its rules...

I fell into that whirlwind yesterday.
Though these things are exactly what I asked for, I still freaked.
Fortunately, I have wonderful TRUE friends who were there to catch me,
never flinching even once that at that moment I was not the strong one,
the guide, the positivity spewer I normally am.
You all know who you are, and I say THANK YOU.
I love you all deeply!

Then this morning, the perfect Universe delivered this message to my inbox through my weekly numerology:

Amid so much change, you need to get more organized.
You have a labor of love ahead of you, and now is the time to start creating a firm foundation on which to build that new reality.
You are ready to take on a more responsible role.
As your awareness increases, so will your courage and tenacity, and you will feel more alive than you have felt in a long time.
Pace yourself sensibly.
Know when to rest.

With adjustments to my Openedeye Studios being made,
the Resonate! gathering taking off,
and my living situation following close behind,
all seems to be falling into place for Phase 4 of the InvisibleSoul.

All things DO work to perfection...

Beautiful.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

06.01.2008
Sweating Bullets

I came to this place to die...
I came to this place to die...
I came to this place to die...

The East, South, West, and North gathered around me as I prepared to take my final breaths.

I knew full well I had come here to die today. I had willingly put myself in this situation, knowing completely what was going to happen.
As I stood silently and listened to the Winds around me, feeling their caress, I looked in to my Heart to see how I truly felt about this death.
I found no fear whatsoever there.
I felt no clinging to the life that had run its course.
I had no regret for all things done good or bad, and, in fact, could see no difference between the two.
I felt a serenity that cannot be described.
I found patient strength, Lovingly waiting for its time...

"When the fire is lit, you are lit..."

My spirit combusted along with the fire as it engulfed the stones in the most passionate orange flames I had ever seen. I stood before it, unable to move, mezmerized by the union of this fire and my soul.
I felt it surrounding
I felt it consuming
I felt it searing away my InvisibleFlesh...

My time had come.

When the stones had heated from brown to red to orange to white, I and those ten other souls fell to our knees and willingly re-entered the Womb from which we all came,
the Buffalo sheltering from the chill of the Snow,
the Native American sweat lodge ceremony we were so honored to participate in.

Day One: four of the stones were brought into the lodge and sprinkled with sage. The door was shut, delivering us to utter darkness as water was poured upon the stones, creating steam. The sweating, purifying, and prayers had begun...

Day Two: seven more stones were brought in, increasing the heat and steam in our Womb. Songs and prayers for unity regardless of age, status, or level were offered, and we were cleansed through our pores more aggresively than before....

Day Three: ten more stones were now brought in for the Healing round. The heat and steam were now so intense a towel was needed to cover our face in order to breathe. Sweat poured from us as a waterfall.
The last of my impurities now exhausted their life. I stepped aside as I watched that body collapse to the earth and exhale its last breath.
I stared at it in amazement,
seeing,
knowing,
feeling that part of me gone,
dead.
I circled the body as my throat vibrated OOOOMMMM for what seemed like ages. The rattle in my hand shook with a life of its own.

There was no sadness here.
Simply amazement and... relief
that this burden and annoyance had been so vividly and Lovingly murdered...

Day Four: almost all the rest of the stones were brought into the lodge for the final round. In the near unbearable heat, with our backs aching from crouching in our Womb, I was asked to pray for all beings past, present, and future. As our purification and detoxification came to completion, I gushed forth this pure Love inside me like the sweat gushing forth from my entire being. I expressed deep gratefulness to our ancestors for preparing our way for this Life's experience and growth and the knowledge and wisdom we tap in to, prayers for guidance and growth of all living and experiencing Life now, and welcoming all yet to come, preparing the way for those whose ancestors WE will become...

I left myself lying in that no-thing-ness.
I crawled out of the Womb,
reborn and rejuvenated, experienced breathing again for the very first time,
tasted the most delicious food imaginable,
gaped at the stars and the lightning for the first time in my Life,
stared awestruck at the overwhelming beauty in all I saw,

and knew I was new.

With my body, speech, and mind,

I know who I am...

Aho — acrylic on canvas
[ Native American translation: "Amen" "Thank You" or "Kill Him" ]
Lloyd Matthew Thompson
06.01.2008

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

05.12.2008
What the Old One Said

In the land of dreams,
the Old One spoke to me:

The blood pulsing through your veins RADIATES Love!
It flows with such passion that nothing else on this earth compares to it.
Its mission is gentle, though its motion is wild.
Torrents of Life patter through your home.

This is the time we have chosen— the blood cells know this and rejoice in their very existence! Their appreciation for you exceeds the deepest gratefulness your physical mind can even imagine.

You can tap into this passion, Darling!

For this is your Life, you can be no more separate than this.
It is harder to see, but it is also the same with ALL things "outside" yourself as well... Unity!

Realization of Unity is the key to all wisdom.
Disregarding such Truth holds no hope for salvation.

Christ is within you!
Love, wisdom, and understanding is the whole of the whole. With these you will knock down the mightiest army, crumble the thickest wall, pierce the toughest hide. Amazement will wake behind you wherever you go, and many will be launched into their Own.

Fly, my Love, fly!
Soar as high as you wish!
Limits do not exist, you know.

Let these words pierce YOUR Heart!
Become them.
Unite with them..

Gain the world and FIND your Soul!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

04.07.2008 9:40am
So the time has again come around to write my annual birthday blurb.
As of 9:40am, this is my 30th 7th of April to experience in this body!

Many, many things have happened in these past three decades,
and the past year alone has been completely life changing.
But time has begun to distort for me.
It runs together, speeds up, and slows down so much that I have realized it does not really exist at all. The fact we can Mentally travel backwards or forwards in time so vividly and REcreate or CREate them so easily only reinforces that reality.

In my first decade, I found out about the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit...
In my second decade, I found the Father, the Son, and Holey Spirit...
In my third decade, I found I am the Father, the Sun, and Wholly Spirit...

And now I am entering another Dimension-- a dimension not only of sight and of sound, but of Mind...
Call me in 10 years and see where I’ve gone from here!

My artwork, photography, and design is taking off as quickly as my awareness and evolution. I highly recommend doing what you love for a living!
Soon I will reach the point where minimal effort is needed for maximum cash, and have the freedom to explore my existence, creativity, and planet at whim!

I have both loved and lost and been loved and lost, but no one and nothing is ever really gone. They are all still within me-- and, in fact, have helped MAKE me.
Without any of those experiences, I would not be who I have decided to be as a result here.

The more I break free from how I am told to be, to act, to feel,
and decide for MYSELF, the stronger I become and the more creativity flows from me.
I am an ever-expanding Soul that was before this body, and will be after this body. 
Thirty years here is not even a twitch of a blink in the hugeness of All.

I believe I have progressed quite well in merely thirty years,
and that’s all that matters.

I see where I am headed, and how little I still am compared to that.
THAT is the most exciting thing imaginable!

Hello, decade four!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

03.25.2008 11:11am
this Vehicle

Have you seen what I drive?

I drive a Chevrolet Impala that came into existence in the year 2003,
although this is now the year 2008.
Now, MANY Impalas came into existence in the year 2003,
but not all of them are the color of black like the one I inhabit.
Not all of the Impalas from 2003 the color of black have the grey interior the one I inhabit has.
Not all of the Impalas from 2003 the color of black with grey interiors have the stereo system the one I inhabit has.
Not all of the Impalas from 2003 the color of black with grey interiors and the same stereo systems have the same small dent in the rear bumper the one I inhabit has...

This is not the first vehicle I have had.
This will not be the last vehicle I have.

In the past I have inhabited
a Chevrolet Blazer from the period of 1996,
a Mazda 626 from the time of 1992,
and a Pontiac Firebird from the era of 1982

but in every case I was still the InvisibleSoul.

L o o k d e e p e r .

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

03.03.2008

Just as this image of myself
is smaller than myself,
and I am not this image,

so this body I inhabit
is smaller than mySelf,
and I

am not

this body.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

04.07.2007
My Brothers and Sisters,

I have at this moment entered my twenty-ninth year in this form,
and it has come time again to reflect and project,
the past year,
and year to come.

The first word I want to say is . . . M E R C I
t h a n k y o u .
Overwhelming gratefuleness pours from the depths of my soul
as I look behind in 20/20 contact lensless vision
on my life thus far.

THANK YOU to those who have helped me,
THANK YOU to those who have loved me,
THANK YOU to those who have corrected me,
THANK YOU to those who have tolerated me,
THANK YOU to those who have NOT tolerated me,

and most of all,

THANK YOU to those who have hurt me.

Without each and every one of you,
without each and every circumstance,
without each and every experience,

I would not be who I am today.
I would not be where I am today.

I a m y o u .
Y o u a r e m e.
There is n o d i f f e r e n c e between us.

"Watching a spider at work,
I vow with all beings
to cherish the web of the universe:
touch one point
and e v e r y t h i n g moves."
--- Robert Aitken, Zen master.

We are all truly interelated.

And so with such a realization
in heart and mind,
I dedicate this year to be Year One--
The Year of Oneness.
Unity, Compassion, Love.
Healing, Uplifting, Restoring.
Harmlessness and nonviolence in action, speech, and thought---

For who would do such things to themselves???
"Love your neighbor as yourself"
I say, "Love-- your neighbor IS yourself."

The second word I want to say is . . . V I G I L A N C E
o p e n e d e y e d .
"I press on toward the goal of that which God has called me to."

I seek SPIRIT in all things.

This year,
I strive for standards, precepts, and vows,
for my sake,
and for others' sake, who are not really others at all.

Now there is accountability.
Love reaches to Love.

Namaste, my lovers (the Divine in me acknowledges the Divine in you)
GodAllahBrahmanElohimGoddessSpirit be with you.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

11.15.2006
REcap:

04-07-2006
Birthday Resolution

I now dedicate and commit this year to be the Year of the Spirit.
The Year of Growth.
The Year of Wisdom.
The Year of Knowledge.
The Year of Release.
The Year of Life.

My Focus and my Mindfulness will remain extended towards only the positive, only the creative, only the inspirational. I will continue to surround myself with those who encourage, support, and uplift. I will be alert for the negative and destructive, and hold myself responsible and disciplined to keep myself from dishonor and disrespect.

I will absorb and radiate the Light and Energy to others.
I will tell them to think nothing of repaying me for help, but to pass it on to another, the next in need.
I will concentrate my talents and my actions on creating a better world.
I believe I CAN make a difference!

This year, my View changes.
This year, I will learn to reflect and infect.
I will wake up, and wake up.

Now there is accountability.
Love reaches to Love.

REvision:

11-15-2006
Personal Journal Excerpt

I am dedicated to and commited to the Path,
my Path,
spirituality,
my spirituality,
creativity and growth,
my creativity and growth, above all...

Striving for mindfulness and compassion and uprightness in all things,
(relationships, friendships, community)
fully aware,
fully in control of myself,
my emotions,
thoughts,
actions,
surrounding myself with only the positive,
only the growing people and things,
my sangha.

Amen.

11-15-2006
Meditation Notebook
@

The releasing of the Path is
The walking of the Path
What you think you know
You don't.
What you think you don't
You do.
Letting go is grabbing hold (and stepping into Lightness)
Grabbing hold is letting go (and stepping into Darkness)

The Paradox Divine.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

09.20.2006
Art, and the Soul...

Two halves of a whole.

Mirrors reflecting each other with relative views...

My life seems to have taken a turn lately.
A new era of prioritizing and communicating has begun.
When you slow down and begin to pay attention to what it is you REALLY need, what you REALLY want, what is REALLY edification for your Spirit and what is REALLY sustenance for your Soul, then the desire, urge, and willpower to MAKE time for those things becomes first and foremost, and those things which do NOT breathe Life into your Being then begin to become no obstacles at all...

[ Begin at the beginning, and we'll get to the end... ]

Be still,

and Know...

 

Be still.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

06.06.2006
666
The energy of Number 6 carries the qualities of nurturing and caring.

It is unselfish, philanthropic, compassionate, and kind.

It is intimately associated with the concept of family, and as such values balance and even-handedness.

It offers sympathy, advice, understanding, and plays the sounding board for commiseration when someone in the world needs that contribution.

The ancient greeks considered six to be a 'perfect' number because six can be divided evenly by three numbers that are less than itself; one, two and three. When you add these three numbers you get six.

Six can represent peace, beauty, equalibrium, balance and harmony.

It can be about giving, recieving and relating to others.

Six can also represent a flowing, movement and cycles.

The number six is one of BALANCE.

Six represents the break of dawn following the long, dark, difficult night of Five.

Six is the number of love and romance.

Merry Bright New Day to you all!

— Lloyd Matthew Thompson
06-06-06

 PS—  hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia =  the fear of the number 666.

The most prominent occurrence of the number is found in the New Testament, where Revelation 13:16-18 states:

Also it causes all, both small and great, both rich and poor, both free and slave, to be marked on the right hand or the forehead, so that no one can buy or sell who does not have the mark, that is, the name of the beast or the number of his name. This calls for wisdom: let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the beast, for it is a human number. Its number is six threescore six

The Greek manuscripts render the phrase as (Greek coding), which is 666 in Greek numerical form, or, as in the Codex Alexandrinus, literally six hundred and sixty-six, (Greek coding). Other early Greek copies including the Oxyrhynchus papyri show the number of the beast to be 616, (Greek coding), instead of 666. (i) and (E) can be similar in appearance and one may be an erroneous copy of the other. Historians continue to argue which was the original. English translations usually give the number as 666.
(from Wikipedia)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

05.09.2006
Some say that my teaching is nonsense.
Others call it lofty but impractical.
But to those who have looked inside themselves,
this nonsense makes perfect sense.
And to those who put it into practice,
this loftiness has roots that go deep.

I have just three things to teach:
simplicity, patience, compassion.
These three are your greatest treasures.
Simple in actions and in thoughts,
you return to the source of being.
Patient with both friends and enemies,
you accord with the way things are.
Compassionate toward yourself,
you reconcile all beings in the world.

-- Tao Te Ching

I have been looking at it wrong STILL!

I have been meditating on
"compassion for yourself AS WELL"

but it is really

"compassion for yourself FIRST"

!!!!!!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

02.21.2006
Isn't it odd how we are able to clearly see what's going on and advise others quite wisely accordingly, yet seem to be blind and foolish in the same areas of our own lives?

The other day, I gave someone the wisdom "Nothing should affect us so much that we lay in bed all day every day, depressed and moping and longing for that thing, whether it is an object, or our love."

Something poked me inside as I spoke that.

I do not get depressed to such disabling as that, but I do allow myself to become blocked creatively and productively when things do not go as expected or desired. I do not feel as if there is no reason to live or go on when something does not work out the way I thought it would, but I do let panic clutch my mind when something I have grown attached to changes or leaves. Although there are different extremes- different levels- they are all pieces of the same whole.

There is an Hindu saying, "No fool is more foolish than one who eagerly expounds his learning to others while failing to follow it himself."

Pondering and meditating on this, and the wisdom I dispensed, a new realization settled in me. I realized that despite my soap-boxing on individuality and personal freedom for each one and all, I AM a dependent person, I DO allow issues of attachment to grab hold and remain, I DO let the craving for attention override rational thought- all of which lead to suffering in this world of ever-changing impermanence, which leads to the attempt to control the situation, which at times is other people, which attempts to rob them of THEIR freedom and individuality…

This is nothing new to me though. I have known and seen it here and there, then turned away and ignored. Denial and deception are two of the strongest and blinding forces there are- even to ourselves. ESPECIALLY to ourselves. It takes a new level of realization, a dawning of a new perspective and personalization of a thing for it to become REALLY real and effective.

Independency is a trait that should be as highly desired as individuality. In fact, they are hand in hand, one and the same. Each person should be able to focus on their projects, their duties, unaffected by whether another approves or disapproves, agrees or disagrees, is supportive or unsupportive, encouraging or discouraging, and so on and so forth. Each person is unique; each person is their OWN.

William Blake wrote, "He who binds himself to joy, does the winged life destroy. But he who kisses the joy as it flies, lives in eternity's sunrise." Of course it is nice when you have the support of another. It is wonderful to have everything going right, so that you are happy and all is well in the world. It is the ATTACHMENT to it, the CLINGING thereof that causes the suffering. Live for YOU, no one else! If something wonderful happens, enjoy it! Be grateful for the experience! But realize that it is not permanent. All things change. Let go, and live!

In summary, dependency boils down to pure and simple attachment and desire. This is the target Nirvana seeks to destroy, leading the way towards true freedom and enlightenment.

So, although time has flown and we are well into the new year, I have determined to voice and manifest my goal for the year- each day actually is the beginning of a new year! As last year was a year of endings and releasings to prepare for new beginnings, the focus for this year truly IS Independence.

I will be mindful of my own attention as well as the attention of others, and I will learn to be ME.

I encourage- and CHALLENGE- everyone to do the same!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

10.27.2005
Prayer.
A wish list of demands more often than not.
A one-sided petition of our desires (even if it is a prayer for another, it is still a request for what we want).
A pleading for answers, events, or changes.

That is all very wonderful— communicating to God/Goddess/Spirit/Universe/Higher Power (whichever your personal view), manifesting your will, certainly produces results, but it suddenly hit me the other day that there is another side to prayer.

LISTEN!

We talk, but do we be still and LISTEN for a reply?
Prayer is a two-way highway!
He/She/It is DYING to talk to US as well! :-)

How will the answer be known if we do not stop and pay attention?
How will we receive any messages if we talk and run?
How will change come if we do not LISTEN to the instructions?

Turn off all electronics, televisions, computers, and telephones... breathe deeply and slowly... relax every muscle in your body... and LISTEN...

You'll be glad you did! :-)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

08.18.2005
I was recently reminded of the Hugger-Lady.

Growing up, the church we attended had these monthly worship nights. To each and every one of them, this little old hunched-over woman came. Before AND after each service, she would make her way up and down as many rows of pews as she could before it was time to begin or until there was nobody left, giving each and every person a huge bear hug! No matter WHO they were, or how OLD they were, or if she knew them or not, everyone got hugged. She even made her way up on the stage to hug every musician and minister!

As kids, we would run from her, hiding in the bathroom until enough time had elapsed for her to work her way past our row... "Oh no! It's the hugger-lady again!" we would say. "Watch out, she's going to get you!"

Looking back now, I see that was the ultimate expression of the unconditional Love coming through her, her way of blessing us, healing us, shining the Love of the Universe and of Spirit on us, and passing her pure light and energy on to others selflessly...

Why did we run away from that?
Why did we not understand it was not to embarrass us or humiliate us, but to simply share the true Love available to all with us, to show us the way to be alive?
I would give ANYTHING to feel that energy now!

Though I don't know your name, or where you are now, I send out my deepest heartfelt thanks... It took many years, but I finally understand what you were doing and showing us, Hugger-Lady! I am truly grateful, and I thank Spirit for your part in my life... if I am the only one, your life has not been in vain!

I pray you are well, and you reap what you have sown!
*folds hands and bows*

Somebody hug somebody today!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

05.16.2005
The first thing grandma did when I got to the hospital was hug me and hold onto me. The first thing grandma said to me was "Lloyd, he loved you so much and was very proud of you! You were his first granchild, you made him a grandpa..."

My other grandpa— my mother's father— has now passed on as well, a mere three and a half months after my other grandfather.

I am even closer to these grandparents, literally growing up with them. I had so much respect for him, the things he knew, the way he loved grandma through all the hard times and took SO MUCH care of her...

Goodbye, Papa Wood... I am so sorry for all the more time I could have and should have spent with you but didn't... please know I love you very very much... I will miss our birthday party and holiday conversations terribly... thank you for all things you did for me... so long, and goodnight...
*folds hands and bows*

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

02.17.2005
On January 29, 2005, my grandfather passed on...

I was not as close to him as I was to my grandmother, who passed a little over three years beforehand, but I do have one very big, fond memory of him:

Each summer when we would be visiting them in Denver, he would never let us go to bed without first hugging each of us so hard it squished the air out of our lungs, and saying loudly, "Good! Night! Nurse!"

I once again had the honor of being a pallbearer to him, as I was to grandma. I would not exist today if it were not for these two people, and I am EXTREMELY proud to have had the privilege to lay both of them in their final resting spot with my very own hands...

I am very grateful and happy with this life I have been given... I would not have it any other way.

"Grandma, grandpa... I love you so very much... until we meet again,

GOOD NIGHT, NURSE..."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

12.31.2004
I looked, and I saw a door before me, a door so huge
I could scarcely see the top.

I stretched out my hand and touched its surface. It was
not made of wood, or of metal, or of glass.

"What IS this strange material?" I wondered aloud and
I instantly heard the reply:

"UNTARNISHED OPPORTUNITY."

Two thousand and five.
Wow.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~